Looking Ahead

Hi Friends,

It’s hard to believe we’ve had this blog for over a year now! I have so enjoyed reading wisdom from different pastors’ wives, and hearing thoughts and ideas from so many of you.

We have been talking about how to best encourage you dear ladies, and decided to press pause on our weekly posts for a season. We want to use the time we invest in this blog to plan some new ways to serve you more effectively.

We’ll be sure to get the word out when posts resume. In the meantime, we hope you enjoy the archives full of wonderful counsel from godly ladies. And please pray that God would give us wisdom and favor in our planning.

Thanks to each one of you for your faithful service to our Savior!

With affection and appreciation,

Carolyn Mahaney

Wise Words: Grace From our Husbands, Part 2

by Liz Emerson

Today we are continuing with Liz's encouragement to receive help and grace from our husbands in the key areas of life.

3. Gifts and abilities that I really need

God amazingly handpicks our husbands for us. In so many areas where I am weak, Gene is strong. One area would be in the area of administration. Gene is organized, and I am not! I haven’t always appreciated his strength, because beside him I see my disorganization. But as I have humbled myself and asked for help, God has used his wisdom in this area to grow me - and continues to do so. I am very grateful!

4. Loving covering for my role in the church.

Gene is constantly encouraging me in my role of Biblical womanhood in the home and in the church. He helps me see that as a pastor’s wife I am not pastoring the women; which enables me to experience the “ pleasant yoke” that Jesus wants me to carry. I can freely serve the women as their friend, and leave pastoring to the pastors! This concept has brought a real freedom in my heart, especially in the last few years.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t always appreciate God’s grace to me through Gene. I can be contentious, not wanting to listen to his advice. My pride gets in the way when I want my own way rather than respecting his opinions and wonderful Biblical counsel. But as I humble my heart and we talk about these issues together, the Holy Spirit is so faithful to convict me of the haughtiness or disrespect in my heart. I am so grateful for God’s on-going work in changing me!

I could go on and on (I’m sure you could, too!). But it is important to regularly stop and reflect on what an amazing gift of grace God has given to us through them. This cultivates a thankfulness in our hearts to God for how kind He has been to us.

Last year as pastors' wives we read chapter two in the book, Helper by Design titled “His Companion, His Helper” to stir our love and respect for our husbands. Then we studied the word “respect” in Ephesians 5:33, taking the synonyms for the word respect from the Amplified Bible (notice, regard, honor, prefer, venerate, esteem, defer, praise, love and admire), defining them, and meditating on the amazing variety of ways to cultivate respect. Finally, we read the inspiring letter written by Pam Bloom to her husband, Jon Bloom, Executive Director of Desiring God Ministries. (http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/Author/36_pam_bloom/), and each of us wrotea note of encouragement to our husband. It was a wonderful experience to focus on and appreciate the tremendous gift that God has given each of us.

Wise Words: Grace From our Husbands, Part 1

One of the defining passages from Scripture that shapes our ministry to women is Titus 2:3-5 where older women are instructed to teach (encourage) younger women. One of the ways we've chosen to do this is to ask some of our “seasoned” pastors’ wives (sounds nicer than “older”!) to respond to the following question and then post their responses on a periodic basis for our encouragement and training: “As a pastor’s wife for ________ years, what is one piece of advice, or one bit of encouragement you would want to share with young pastors’ wives?”

Today we have the joy of hearing from Liz Emerson, wife of Gene, Sr. Pastor, KingsWay Church in Richmond, VA.

Enjoy and be refreshed through her wise words!

Grace From Our Husbands, Part 1

One of my most favorite childhood memories is reading the story of “Little Women” by Louisa May Alcott. Growing up in a family of four girls, I loved the story of the four March sisters, and all of their life experiences. One of my favorite moments in the book is in the chapter called “Under the Umbrella”. Jo, the flamboyant sister, has pined for her heart’s desire, Professor Bhaer, for sometime. They run into each other on a rainy day in town, and he extends protection to her as he offers for her to walk with him “under his umbrella”. During the course of the rainy afternoon they express their love to each other and Jo “trudged beside him, feeling as if her place had always been there, and wondering how she ever could have chosen any other lot”. They are together at last!!

Romance, yes! But the Lord frequently uses that picture of “being under the umbrella” to remind me of the gift of protection and grace that my husband’s care and leadership are to me! Embracing Gene’s leadership as a gift of God’s grace is what enables me to “come under” him as his wife and voluntarily submit myself to him. It is an act of faith, requiring belief that truly this is God’s provision for me. As I respond to God’s plan and submit myself to His leadership through Gene, I receive abundant blessings from my loving Heavenly Father! Those blessings include:

1. Wise guidance & biblical encouragement for my life

Just think - the church has our husband to shepherd them as their pastor; and we get to receive that unique love and care on a regular basis as their wives! My husband knows me better than anyone else in the world. As I open up my life and struggles to Gene, I have seen the Lord give him unique insight and counsel for me. His counsel is not infallible, but I have grown to respect and trust his wisdom. He is the first one I approach for counsel or insight into difficulties

2. Wise leadership for our family

As head of our home, God has gifted our husbands to lead our children, as well. I have seen God grace Gene with particular wisdom and leadership for our four children (ages 15, 19, 24, and a married 26 year old son). As I follow his leadership, there is a peace and order in our home that is truly a gift from God. We experience real “safety” under the protection of his leadership.

Taking Joy: Part 2

by Janis Shank

Summer is advancing, and here in Phoenix that means HEAT (high of 112 later this week)! Where’s the pool!!

In our lives we face “heat” also, trials and suffering that reveal our source of hope and where we take our joy and happiness.

Last week we asked the question: “What kind of circumstances am I tempted to “take joy” in as a pastor’s wife?”

Here are a few examples from my own life and the lives of other pastor’s wives I know. Some are light with a tone of humor, others are sober and serious. I think I can relate to each one as I survey my life as a pastor’s wife. Circumstances where:

1. My small children obey at church (and worship with raised hands too).

2. My teens show evidence of “turning out right” and walk in the fear of God in their formative years.

3. The church budget balances, resulting in no staff or ministry cuts or financial hardships. 4. Everyone gets along, and there is no relational conflict in my life or in the church.

5.

6. Unbelievers come and are saved.

7. New people come and join and long standing members stay.

8. There are enough workers in children’s ministry.

9. Gospel connections and transformation abound in the member’s lives...

You get the idea and I am sure you could add a variety of desirable circumstances to this list. However, our friend Habakkuk the prophet moved beyond favorable circumstances to a Favorable God as his source of joy.

Habakkuk 3:18-19 “yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God the Lord is my strength, he makes my feet like the deer’s, He makes me tread on high places.”

I love how Mark Dever summarizes what this prophet learned:

“Habakkuk expresses his great contentment in God after he has been considering God, praying to God, meditating on God, and then observing this vision of God’s coming. You and I should also learn more of God if we want to be happy and content. Just consider his promises for us in Christ! Our God is honest. Our God is just. Our God is faithful to the covenant he has made. This is the God we are called to love. Habakkuk learned, through his honest questioning, that what he wanted most was this God...So it is that we Christians (and pastor’s wives) are happy under any circumstance in the world! We have God, and he is our strength and hope” (The Message of the Old Testament pg.856-857)

As your summer unfolds, if you encounter heat or trials, may you take joy in the God of your salvation.

Taking Joy: Part 1

by Janis Shank

With summer in full swing, most of us are enjoying the change of pace from the rigid structure of the school year. Some are having swim days, some are hanging out at the beach, and some may be planning a trip to grandma’s house. Some of us may be grandma’s house and are preparing to be invaded! However your summer is beginning, it is a good time to take stock, to stop and think through things with a fresh perspective and to ponder deeply.

Though I am anticipating summer fun, I have been pondering and taking stock of where I find my joy. Habakkuk, the initially discontent prophet, has provided rich instruction for me. Habakkuk questioned God’s plan to punish His chosen people’s idolatry by using their enemies. God, ever merciful, reveals his plan of salvation, promising that though he is correcting His children, He will continue His covenant love to them and eventually judge their enemies also. God showed this prophet that He can be trusted to handle all situations, not matter how bad things get. Habakkuk’s response of faith toward God, which compose the final verses of this short book are astounding to me.

Habakkuk 3:17-19 “Though the fig tree does not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God the Lord is my strength, he makes my feet like the deer’s, He makes me tread on high places.”

Next week we will unpack how this prophet came to such a confident, restful place of peace and joy in dire circumstances. In the meantime, here are a few questions I have been asking of my heart and perhaps you can join me:

1. Am I tempted to question God’s handling of any circumstances in my life or in the lives of those in our sphere of care?

2. What kind of circumstances am I tempted to “take joy in" as a pastor’s wife?

Consider this as food for thought as you sip lemonade and enjoy the kids or grandkids. May God work in us more faith and joy in Him.

My Plans and God's Provision

by Trish Donahue

Summer is here! The season when all pressure is supposed to fly away, all children are to be frolicking and joyful, all closets are to be cleaned and organized, and all glasses are to be filled with freshly-squeezed lemonade. Sometimes that does happen, and I love it; but sometimes that picture blurs a little and we find ourselves pondering a problem over our plastic cup of Acme lemonade water.

Fortunately, God is not particular, and doesn’t mind grabbing a plastic cup and talking with us. This happened to me just the other day.

Have you ever had the experience of reading the Bible and suddenly a passage you’ve read a million times goes slow-mo and it seems like you’re reading it for the first time? It’s like the Holy Spirit is the director yelling, “Hold it! Slow this part down! In fact, rewind it for her! She’s never gotten this part!” That was my experience.

So I’m reading John (Isn’t John the most frequently read book? Haven’t I read it a gazillion times?) and this is the scene I come across in chapter 6:

Jesus looks up and sees a mob of needy people heading straight for him, and he says to Philip,

“Where are we to buy bread, so that these people may eat?”

Philip was probably thinking to himself, “How in the world am I supposed to know? You’re in charge here!”

And just when you’re entering into the panic and worry of the situation, you read the next line, which makes me laugh:

“He said this to test him for he himself knew what he would do.”

Of course Jesus knew what he would do. He wasn’t really wondering. He wasn’t wringing his hands, figuring out the distance to the nearest McDonalds, estimating the size of the crowd. He might have smiled and watched Philip out of the corner of his eye as he asked the question to see how Philip would respond.

Here’s the paraphrase for my life:

Jesus is walking beside me and looks up and sees a potential problem coming up.

“Hey Trish,” he says (maybe with a grin I’m too busy to notice), “What are we gonna do here—this isn’t looking so good.”

My typical response is: “I know! I was thinking that exact same thing Jesus! Yikes! It’s all falling apart! I knew it would! That plan, that kid, that test, that friendship, that dream—it’s all going down! Do you mind if I stop for a minute to worry and plan and fret until I figure it out?”

I don’t think Jesus says, “Oh, brother,” but I’d understand if he would. Instead, we know from scripture that he does these things to test us, for he himself knows what he will do.

He knows exactly what he will do! He isn’t confused, overwhelmed, upset, or worried. He sees our families, our husband’s responsibilities, our children’s weaknesses, our limitations, the problems in our churches, our friendships, our finances—He sees is all! And he promises to work all things together for good for those who love him.

And that’s who I get to walk beside. By God’s grace, I think I’m slowly learning to look over at him when he asks that question, and say, “You –know what you’re doing Lord. You’ll provide all that’s needed. You always do.”

Summer Ministry Idea: Prayer and Pool

by Kim Boettcher

Hmmm, let's see. Just how will my son Stephen and I approach this summer? I'll do Tuesday afternoons at Sheila's pool and Thursday afternoons at Darlene's pool for sure. I'll be flexible with Wednesdays. Of course, Friday morning is at Jen's pool for the pastor's wives. Three possibly four days of pool hopping sounds good. Caregroup meetings, some hospitality at our house, and family fun nights with our married children will make a delightful summer. Can't forget my annual beach day with my daughters and I want to surprise Warren for an overnight too...I can hardly wait for the summer to begin!

Have my summers always been like this? Well, yes and no. They've always been fun, but not necessarily filled with pool days. It all began 17 years ago on our church plant. When I asked Warren how I could serve him with the women, he wisely responded, "make memories." Boy, that was the best assignment ever! I'd love to do that!! Providentially right at that time, the Lord added to our leadership team a family with a pool. That summer we began what I called "Prayer and Pool." (not too creative, I know!) I met with the caregroup leaders at my house every Friday morning for prayer while the kids hung out downstairs. We ate lunch at my house and then headed over to Cris's house for pool time. We decided we liked being together so much, that when "prayer and pool" ended, I kept up a monthly morning prayer meeting. Over time, our "prayer and pool" got bigger and bigger as the Lord added more and more caregroup leaders. And, as the Lord would have it , eventually the caregroup leaders wanted to have their own prayer and pools! They so enjoyed our fellowship that they wanted to experience that with their own caregroups. Thus, the evolution of prayer and pool!

Through the years the Lord has added many large hearted people to our church that love to open up their pools in the summer. Typically, each pool day consists of 2-3 caregroups combined depending on the number of children. Another way the ladies get together is by age of children. For instance, my daughter Julie hosts a pool morning at her friend's house for moms with small children. Of course, as a Memom, I've crashed that pool from time to time to see my 2 granddaughters!

We currently have 7 pool days going on this summer. One of the perks of being a pastor's wife is that I can pool hop all summer long! I go to my "usual" pools based on my son's preference, but every now and then I venture out to another pool to catch up with the ladies there. God is at work in so many lives and the fellowship is so sweet that I don't want to miss it!

I'm especially excited about our Pastor's Wives pool day on Friday mornings. Since the majority of the children on our team are under the age of 7, afternoon naps are essential. Therefore we will gather at Jen Lockhart's pool at 10:00, bring our lunches, and leave around 1:00 or 2:00. Our summer assignment is to bring to our monthly Panera Bread breakfast meeting evidences of grace we see in 2 children (there are 15 children among us...not counting my 4 older children...so we figured we needed to limit it to 2). No doubt, the memories made around Jen's pool will only deepen our friendships and make our children glad that their daddy is called to be a pastor--what fun! Life is just one big "get to" for these kids!

There you have it! Summer fun at the Sovereign Grace Church of Cherry Hill. If you ever come for a visit, don't forget your suit! I'll just check my calendar and find out just where the pool day is happening and we'll just mosey on over. Be ready to laugh and cry and share your heart....that's what pool day is all about!