by Liz Emerson
I once read an article called, “Help, I am Pastor’s Wife!!!” Ever felt that way? Thoughts can swirl in our heads like, “Who, ME for this job?!?....... Do you know what a sinner I am?...... I’m not even a good wife..... I just yelled at my kids for the third time today........ I am the most disorganized person I know.........
All these thoughts, and more, can be common in a pastor’s wife’s life. They certainly have been in mine! But, in whatever role God has called us to, He wants our hearts to be confident that He will provide all we need for this calling. I have been humbled, seeing God do this in my life again and again.
Faith is a gift from God. God gives us each a measure of faith from the moment we become Christians (Romans 12:3). He then provides ongoing faith for each and every day of our lives, no matter how inadequate we may feel! It is so vital for us to be filled with faith for our role as a pastor’s wife. Faith gives us vision to see beyond our own temporal circumstances and to understand God’s purposes for our lives!
For me, it hasn’t been enough to walk in Gene’s faith to be a pastor. I have had to go to God and ask Him to fill my heart with faith for this calling for my life. He has been so abundantly kind to do that. He has given me not only the desire to be Gene’s helper in this way, but a delight in my role. He longs to pour faith into each and every one of our hearts for this high calling from Him!
I have seen the faith God has given me strengthen me and carry me through trials, challenging days, controversies and misunderstandings that can accompany the role of being a pastor’s wife. And it is this faith that stirs in me a LOVE for this role. Knowing that God has called me to this helps me see the joy and privilege that it is!
If you are struggling for faith in this area, I encourage you to take some time and pray. Ask God to increase your faith - He longs to do that! Share honestly with your husband and other pastor’s wives how you are feeling, and allow them to encourage you and pray for you as you seek the Lord for faith.
One area that I can struggle for faith is when I sinfully compare myself with others. My thoughts can be like this: “Wow, she is so talented! “I’m not administrative like that.” “Her house is so clean, and mine is a wreck right now. No one better see what kind of homemaker I am....” “She is such a kind mom, and my children are telling me how harsh I’ve been.... I just disqualified myself!” These and so many others can be my lying companions!
My husband, Gene, has helped me so much in this area. When I humble myself and share my discouragement, he reminds me that I’m reaping the bad fruit of comparison. He wisely says, “When we compare ourselves, we become proud or discouraged. How are you feeling right now?” (Usually discouraged!) Then he is quick to speak encouragement to my heart. “God has perfectly and wonderfully made you as my wife; and He has uniquely made you with your strengths and weaknesses to show His glory! Any strengths you have, He has given them to you that you might glorify Him.... and weaknesses are there that He might “show Himself mighty on your behalf”. When I hear that wonderful Biblical encouragement, my gaze is lifted to the Lord, and I am grateful for how He has made me!
Recently, Gene’s responsibilities have increased, resulting in more travel and a more demanding schedule during the week here in Richmond. Before accepting this position, Gene asked me to pray so that we could walk in unity in what God has called us to in our marriage. I really appreciated that --- we are in this together! So, I was back to seeking the Lord for fresh faith for this new season of our lives. Once again, God has been faithful. He’s filled my heart with fresh faith for Gene’s new role. This new season has given me new ways to serve Gene and to be aware of his needs, as well as increasing my prayers for him. All of this is part of the wonderful joys of being a pastor’s wife - and I wouldn’t trade it for anything!
