by Nicole Whitacre
Scripture doesn’t just tell us that hospitality is important. It also tells us how and why we are to practice it.
First of all, we are to show hospitality intentionally. When it tells us to “practice hospitality” the verb usually points to a “vigorous effort.” We are to pursue or strive after hospitality.
This eliminates the, “I’ll do it when I feel like it,” “I’ll do it when it is convenient,” and “I’ll do it when I have to” approaches to hospitality—all of which I’ve tried. No, we’re to go after hospitality like a dog hunting a bone. We’re to sniff out opportunities and seize upon them.
If you’re like me and spontaneity is a mild form of torture, (somewhere just below water-boarding), then scheduling hospitality can help you be intentional. Every month, my husband and I sit down with our calendars and lists of folks we’d like to have over, and plan a few months in advance. My husband emails them right away (maybe before I have a chance to back out!).
But we can also plan to be spontaneous: one woman in my church has a meal prepared before the Sunday meeting so they can invite someone to join them for lunch. And of course, if you are one of those women who love the last minute, late-staying guest, then invite away!
Second, we are to practice hospitality wisely. “The wisest of women builds her house,” it says in Proverbs 14:1; and she “looks well to the ways of her household” it echoes in Proverbs 31:27.
We are to be strategic, prudent, and humble in order to serve our family and our guests. Simply planning ahead is one key way we can wisely practice hospitality. This allows us to be flexible, peaceful, and can minimize the effort required.
Simplifying is another way to be wise in hospitality. Maybe you choose to have three couples over for coffee and dessert rather than one person for three-course meal. Now that’s not to say we can’t “go all out” to bless our guests! We simply must first consider whether it is wisdom given our season and family responsibilities.
And to practice hospitality wisely may mean refraining at times—say, when your husband needs a nap after a sermon or when a child needs focused and individual attention.
(Speaking of wisdom in hospitality, Julie Kauflin will be along next week to share her thoughts with you.)
Finally, we are to practice hospitality cheerfully. In 1 Peter 4:9 there is this interesting little phrase tacked on to the command: “show hospitality to one another without grumbling.”
I find this rather humorous. It’s as if Peter knew this was going to be a temptation for us and so he put that little reminder in there. He ups the ante on us. It’s not enough to do hospitality—you must do it without grumbling.
This hits close to home for me. Especially during the exhausting “Two Hours Before Care Group” choreography: Dinner has to be made and served, dishes cleared and washed, kids fed, read to and in bed, foundation applied to the dark circles under my eyes and perfume sprayed to mask clingy household smells, coffee made, snacks laid out, bathroom wiped clean (almost forgot!), ice bucket filled and—whew!—smile ready when the first person walks through the door fifteen minutes early.
(All show times begin at 4:15—on good days. Tickets are free if you promise to help.)
The minute everything is ready and people walk through the door, they see my smiling face. What they don’t see is that I’ve spent the last three hours fretful, complaining, and anxious. But my family sees. And God sees.
News flash: Hospitality is work! It requires sacrifice of time, energy, and even finances. So how do we practice hospitality cheerfully instead of begrudgingly?
We remember the why: We practice hospitality because we have first received hospitality.
“Grace is the hospitality of God to welcome sinners not because of their goodness but because of his glory,” explains John Piper:
“The ultimate act of hospitality was when Jesus Christ died for sinners to make everyone who believes a member of the household of God. We are no longer strangers and sojourners. We have come home to God. Everybody who trusts in Jesus finds a home in God.”
If we have trusted in Jesus, we have found a home in God. We were once strangers. But through the suffering of Jesus Christ, we have been brought near to God. We are not strangers anymore.
We have been the recipients of the ultimate act of hospitality.
What grace we have received! How can we not, in turn, seek to show grace and love to others by opening our homes and showing hospitality to strangers?
When we truly understand the gospel, the amazing, undeserved love that has been shown to us, we will find a powerful incentive to show hospitality that will truly conquer every hindrance or reluctance. It will cause us to eagerly desire to show hospitality.
And there’s more. Not only have we been recipients of the ultimate act of hospitality, but when we show hospitality to others, God showers us with blessings.
You know Hebrews 13:2 where it urges us not to neglect to show hospitality to strangers “for thereby some have entertained angels unawares”? That verse has always puzzled me. Am I really to expect angels to be visiting my home?
Not exactly.
The author of Hebrews is referring to such famous stories in the Bible such as Abraham and Lot who showed hospitality to angels. But the point for us is what Alexander Strauch so helpfully explains:
“The writer of Hebrews is not suggesting that we should expect supernatural agents to visit us incognito if we practice hospitality. Rather, the writer means that hospitality often results in unexpected blessing and reward” (emphasis mine).
We can expect God’s “presence and provision” in the context of hospitality.
We are to be on the lookout for this blessing in many forms—friendship, fellowship, and even material provision to continue to extend hospitality to others.
Most importantly, we can know the presence and power of God.
John Piper offers a fitting conclusion:
“When we practice hospitality we experience the refreshing joy of becoming conduits of God’s hospitality rather than being self-decaying cul-de-sacs. We experience the thrill of feeling God's power conquer our fears and our stinginess and…our self-centeredness. And there are few joys, if any, greater than the joy of experiencing the liberating power of God's hospitality making us a new and radically different kind of people, who love to reflect the glory of his grace as we extend it to others in all kinds of hospitality.”
Any takers for some refreshing joy? Sign me up!
We won’t find it in a spa or a few quiet hours with a novel, or even that much-coveted afternoon nap, but from a most unexpected place. True, refreshing, exhilarating joy comes from extending God’s love to others through gracious hospitality. It doesn’t come from “getting away from it all” or “taking time for ourselves” but rather experiencing God’s liberating power to become conduits of our Savior’s gracious hospitality.
