Book Review: Radical Womanhood by Carolyn McCulley

By Jill Prader


OVERVIEW

Carolyn’s book takes the reader down a historical path of the women’s movement and it’s cultural impact, giving insight into the conflict over gender, roles and the erroneous conclusions of feminism. Carolyn takes the reader along with her as she examines her past struggles with feminism, illustrating the way the culture affects our views and opinions. She writes, “We need to understand how this movement came about and what its goals have been because these are now our culture’s assumptions. We also need to acknowledge that there has been some good that has come out of it.” Carolyn then helps us to understand all of this through a biblical grid. She realized, “Slowly it began to dawn on me that the Bible was not presenting just a new set of rules for successful relationships or a peaceful life. It was presenting an entirely new game – with radically different goals for victory. Winning was living a life that glorified God. Winning was growing in humility. Winning was trusting God and serving others. Winning was cultivating the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5: 22-23). Winning was growing in Christlikeness”. She doesn’t allow us to take our eyes off Christ and His glorious gospel. Carolyn exhorts women that, "To live according to biblical principles today requires women to be bold enough to stand against philosophies and strongholds that seek to undermine God's Word and His authority." The remainder of the book equips us how to do this through sound biblical arguments and illustrations.


WHAT I LIKED

This is a great book! Carolyn's writing is transparent and engaging. She includes testimonies between each chapter which provide compelling examples of womanhood defined by scripture, as contrasted to the cultural confusion of feminism. These were amazing testimonies of God’s grace and power! This book also helped reveal my pride. In a fresh way, I was reminded of my arrogant attitude as a young woman. I was confronted by my self-righteous attitude of those who have been, and currently are, tempted by feminism. After repenting, I desired to come along side them with a redemptive view in light of the gospel.


WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE

I didn’t find anything that I did not like (except for the uncomfortableness of my exposed blindness)!


I WOULD RECOMMEND THIS BOOK FOR:

This book has a message for all women of all ages. As you are interacting with women in the world today, this is where they are. These are the things they are wrestling with. This book helps each of us discern our culture and reach out more effectively, and helps us discern our hearts and where we may have adopted unbiblical, cultural thinking. Reading this book will inspire a radical embrace of womanhood as designed by God.

Faith For Being a Pastor's Wife

by Liz Emerson

I once read an article called, “Help, I am Pastor’s Wife!!!” Ever felt that way? Thoughts can swirl in our heads like, “Who, ME for this job?!?....... Do you know what a sinner I am?...... I’m not even a good wife..... I just yelled at my kids for the third time today........ I am the most disorganized person I know.........

All these thoughts, and more, can be common in a pastor’s wife’s life. They certainly have been in mine! But, in whatever role God has called us to, He wants our hearts to be confident that He will provide all we need for this calling. I have been humbled, seeing God do this in my life again and again.

Faith is a gift from God. God gives us each a measure of faith from the moment we become Christians (Romans 12:3). He then provides ongoing faith for each and every day of our lives, no matter how inadequate we may feel! It is so vital for us to be filled with faith for our role as a pastor’s wife. Faith gives us vision to see beyond our own temporal circumstances and to understand God’s purposes for our lives!

For me, it hasn’t been enough to walk in Gene’s faith to be a pastor. I have had to go to God and ask Him to fill my heart with faith for this calling for my life. He has been so abundantly kind to do that. He has given me not only the desire to be Gene’s helper in this way, but a delight in my role. He longs to pour faith into each and every one of our hearts for this high calling from Him!

I have seen the faith God has given me strengthen me and carry me through trials, challenging days, controversies and misunderstandings that can accompany the role of being a pastor’s wife. And it is this faith that stirs in me a LOVE for this role. Knowing that God has called me to this helps me see the joy and privilege that it is!

If you are struggling for faith in this area, I encourage you to take some time and pray. Ask God to increase your faith - He longs to do that! Share honestly with your husband and other pastor’s wives how you are feeling, and allow them to encourage you and pray for you as you seek the Lord for faith.

One area that I can struggle for faith is when I sinfully compare myself with others. My thoughts can be like this: “Wow, she is so talented! “I’m not administrative like that.” “Her house is so clean, and mine is a wreck right now. No one better see what kind of homemaker I am....” “She is such a kind mom, and my children are telling me how harsh I’ve been.... I just disqualified myself!” These and so many others can be my lying companions!

My husband, Gene, has helped me so much in this area. When I humble myself and share my discouragement, he reminds me that I’m reaping the bad fruit of comparison. He wisely says, “When we compare ourselves, we become proud or discouraged. How are you feeling right now?” (Usually discouraged!) Then he is quick to speak encouragement to my heart. “God has perfectly and wonderfully made you as my wife; and He has uniquely made you with your strengths and weaknesses to show His glory! Any strengths you have, He has given them to you that you might glorify Him.... and weaknesses are there that He might “show Himself mighty on your behalf”. When I hear that wonderful Biblical encouragement, my gaze is lifted to the Lord, and I am grateful for how He has made me!

Recently, Gene’s responsibilities have increased, resulting in more travel and a more demanding schedule during the week here in Richmond. Before accepting this position, Gene asked me to pray so that we could walk in unity in what God has called us to in our marriage. I really appreciated that --- we are in this together! So, I was back to seeking the Lord for fresh faith for this new season of our lives. Once again, God has been faithful. He’s filled my heart with fresh faith for Gene’s new role. This new season has given me new ways to serve Gene and to be aware of his needs, as well as increasing my prayers for him. All of this is part of the wonderful joys of being a pastor’s wife - and I wouldn’t trade it for anything!

The Privileges, Opportunities and Rewards of a Pastor's Wife

by Betsy Riccuci

As pastors wives we are familiar with the verses found in I Timothy 3:2-7 which delineate in detail the qualifications of an elder/pastor. These verses inspire reverence, awe and a deep desire to come alongside and help our husbands fulfill these qualifications. However, we can be tempted to skip right over verse one of this passage and really start paying attention at verse two thinking, ‘that’s the point where the real instructions kick in’. Verse two begins with the word: “Therefore”, which is a connection word. It informs us that what is to come is founded on what was written before and cannot be separated from verse one. Let’s take a look at I Timothy 3:1. “The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task.” Wow! There is so much in this verse to encourage us as wives of pastors. Whenever Paul writes: “The saying is trustworthy”, which he does in several of his letters, he is telling us: “What is coming next is very important! Pay close attention to what I am about to say!” This is what we are to take note of: “If any one aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task.” Have you ever stopped to consider that God’s estimation of pastoring is that it is a noble (excellent, fair, fine, honorable, high, beautiful and good) task? Have you ever considered that the very desire to aspire to this noble calling in your husband’s heart (and in your heart as his helper) was not self-generated but instilled in you by God Himself? Amazing grace! Never again read I Timothy 3:1-7 without lingering long over verse one first! Though we can often be so aware of the necessary qualifications of pastors, the responsibilities of pastoring, the sacrifices and cost of pastoring, let's be reminded today that it is a noble task, given by God and one filled with privileges, opportunities and great reward!


Privileges:

We have the privilege to serve those Christ gave His life for. To participate in any way in what God is doing in the lives of those He died to save is such an undeserved honor. The fact that He not only invites, but has uniquely called flawed vessels to be used by Him to help others is both humbling and amazing. When I walk into church Sunday mornings or have folks in our home I am often reminded of the words penned by Isaac Watts:

“Oft have my heart and tongue confess’d

How empty and how poor I am”…(don’t we feel that way as we look at our inadequacies and weaknesses as pastors’ wives? But he doesn’t end there!)

“Yet, Lord, Thy saints on earth may reap

Some profit by the good we do;

These are the company I keep,

These are the choices friends I know.”

Isn’t it true that the dear saints that fill our churches are indeed the choicest friends we know?! They are here worshipping God, eagerly listening to and applying God’s Word, joyfully serving one another, fighting sin together. Why are we so privileged to know, learn from, walk alongside and serve these dear people? Because God is good and full of kindness, that’s why!


Opportunities:

You know what else fills my mind when I walk through those doors Sunday mornings or open my front door to welcome folks into my home? It’s that “Too many Christians are more readily aware of the absence of God than they are the presence of God, and they are more aware of sin than they are of grace.” (Humility, True Greatness, C.J. Mahaney) I see opportunities through those doors! Opportunities to help others see God at work! We have the opportunity to greet, remember a new person’s name, give a hug, comfort, encourage, listen to, pray for, draw out, thank, to name a few. Don’t underestimate the blessing in the smallest of opportunities! I have had visitors and new members relay to me how meaningful it was to them that I remembered their name. (Here’s a tip girls! Write the names of the new folks you meet at the top of your Sunday message notes! I don’t rely on my old gray cells!) May we revel in he many opportunities God gives us to make others aware of His love.


Rewards:

For the rewards of being a pastor’s wife, I’ll leave it to the incomparable pen of Mr. Spurgeon to inspire and encourage us from this passage in Proverbs 11:25


“Whoever brings blessing will be enriched,

And one who waters will himself be watered."


“We are here taught the great lesson, that to get, we must give; that to accumulate, we must scatter; that to make ourselves happy, we must make others happy; and that in order to become spiritually vigorous, we must seek the spiritual good of others. In watering others, we are ourselves watered. How? Our efforts to be useful bring out our powers for usefulness. We have latent talents and dormant faculties, which are brought to light by exercise. Our strength for labour is hidden even from ourselves, until we venture forth to fight the Lord’s battles, or to climb the mountains of difficulty. We do not know what tender sympathies we possess until we try to dry the widow’s tears, and soothe the orphan’s grief.

We often find in attempting to teach others, that we gain instruction for ourselves. Oh, what gracious lessons some of us have learned at sick beds! We went to teach the Scriptures, we came away blushing that we knew so little of them. In our converse with poor saints, we are taught the way of God more perfectly for ourselves and get a deeper insight into divine truth. So that watering others makes us humble. We discover how much grace there is where we had not looked for it; and how much the poor saint may outstrip us in knowledge. Our own comfort is also increased by our working for others. We endeavour to cheer them, and the consolation gladdens our own heart. Like the two men in the snow; one chafed the other’s limbs to keep him from dying, and in so doing kept his own blood in circulation, and saved his own life. The poor widow of Sarepta gave from her scanty store a supply for the prophet’s wants, and from that day she never again knew what want was. Give, then, and it shall be given unto you, good measure, pressed down, and running over.” Morning and Evening, August 21


I am so aware of the labors of love you embrace on a daily basis as wives of pastors! Thank you for your love, passion and devotion to the Savior, your husbands, children, homes and churches. My prayer is, dear pastors’ wives, that amidst the numerous sacrifices, may your awareness of the privileges outnumber them, in the daily labors, may the opportunities to experience and share God’s love outpace them, and amidst the heavy costs, may the sure reaping (Galatians 6:9-10) of rewards out weigh them and strengthen your heart as you serve alongside your husband in this noble task.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all of you who are mothers! We would love to have used this post to honor each one of you, for all of you are worthy of honor for the ways you sacrificially serve, love, train and sow the good news of the gospel in your children's lives every day! However, since we are limited by time and space we have the joy of honoring Daryl Cannon this Mother's Day and be inspired by her outstanding example of a mother and a pastor's wife.

Learning in the Daryl Cannon School of Women's Ministry
by Laurie Reyes

Our mom leads an impressive women’s ministry at Sovereign Grace Church in Joppa, MD. The Ladies’ Christmas Breakfast sells out every year drawing more guests than any other special event at the church. The weekly Bible/book study functions as an expression of Titus 2 ministry as older and younger women come together to study, discuss, and apply whatever they are studying together. The summer playground groups are an easy way for moms and kids to enjoy warm weather, fun, and fellowship together. The occasional corporate ladies’ meeting is a much-anticipated girls’ night out with rich times of worship, teaching, discussion, and refreshments. Our mom’s love for the ladies of the church is evident in the effort she puts into a high-quality women’s ministry. As impressive as that is, what impresses us most as her children is the ministry our mom has done over the years in her favorite context: our home.

From the time she was saved at age 31 (we were 12, 8, and 3 years old at the time), our mom began using her home as a ministry base. In addition to providing a haven for our family, she hosted care-group meetings, picnics, evangelistic Bible studies, ladies’ intercession groups, and other small-scale church meetings. Our mom has always had that unique ability to make everyone truly feel “at home” in our house.

Our home was always bustling with activity, but my mom was never too busy to show compassion and care to “the least of these”. We remember Jonathon, a nine-year-old boy whose mom was dying of cancer. Initially Jonathon came to play with Jimmy, but was soon drawn to our mother. He would come to the house just to be with her. Jonathon often smelled and was crusted with dirt. Mom would bathe him and wash his clothes because she knew his mother would be grieved if she knew of the neglect. She gave him snacks and sometimes dinner, but mostly she gave him what he was really hungry for: a mother’s love and care.

We remember Rebekah and Elizabeth. A young mother in the church was critically ill, in and out of hospitals and needing care for her five small children. My mom cared for the youngest two: Rebekah 3, and Elizabeth 2. These two were a memorable pair, having decorated Laurie’s white bedroom with her fuchsia lip stick during nap time. They were the proverbial “hand full”, but our mom not only babysat them -for days at a time- off and on for months, but genuinely loved them. We still have fond and funny memories of Boggy and Biz-Biz which is what the girls called each other.

We also remember our home being a place for singles that didn’t have families in the church. Our family adopted many singles over the years. They came for holidays, dinner, vacations, and just to hang out. My mom had the knack of including people into our lives without pretense or formality. They just sort of joined into what we were doing, making them feel part of our family.

There were many times growing up when we had people live with us. We had two occasions where men from the church lived in our basement. We had a family of seven live with us…in our townhouse! After Karyn and Laurie were married, two single guys (at separate times) moved in. One paid room and board which our parents saved to give back to him for college money after he left. And most recently, Jimmy and Abby along with their two children were able to live with our parents while Jimmy fixed up and added to an older home they purchased. Abby remembers that in contrast to what many thought would happen, she felt completely at home working along side our mom to cook, clean, and have hospitality. She attributes this to our mom making her feel that her house was Ab’s house.

As we have grown up and now all have families of our own, we still see mom using her home as her ministry base. When hurricane Katrina caused our aunt and grandmother to relocate, our mom welcomed them into her home. Our Aunt Kathy (who was in her late fifties at the time) was severely mentally handicapped, only having the capacity of a baby. Our mom dressed her, fed her, and cared for her in every other way until she died of pneumonia less than a year later. Our grandmother also needed physical care. Our mom cared for grandma as if she were her own mother, even staying with her around the clock while she was receiving hospice care during her last days. We will never forget how our mom put her life on hold to care for our aunt and grandmother.

Our mother has never really had an empty nest. Even though none of us live there anymore, and Laurie and Jason even live in a different state now, we all still love going home to Mom’s house. Israel, her ten year old grandson recently said, “I love going to Grammy’s; it’s our other home.”

At mom’s house we learned that women’s ministry isn’t just Ladies’ Christmas Breakfast, or Bible Study, or large, fancy meetings. Women’s ministry is loving people. It’s loving dirty little boys who follow you around the house, and little preschool girls who dig up your flower beds; single guys who have no family and stop by anytime; aging inlaws who require special care; and loud grand children who do laps around the kitchen. Ministry is bringing people not just into your home, but into your life. All of this our mom has done over the years with no one watching.

Actually, we were watching. And our lives have been forever impacted by her godly example. And most significantly, God has been watching, and we hope she feels His pleasure in everything involved in her ministry.

We love you, Mom. Happy Mother’s Day!

From Karyn, Laurie, and Jimmy

Jimmy, husband to Abby and father to Jack 6, Charli 4, and baby girl due later this month, serves alongside his dad as an associate pastor at Sovereign Grace Church in Joppa, MD.

Jason, Laurie, and their four children have recently relocated to Akron, Ohio where Jason leads Covenant of Grace Church and Laurie plans to use many of her mom’s ideas for women’s ministry.

Karyn is a visual director for Macy’s corporation. She and her husband Dan have two teenagers, Sierra 16, and Daniel 13, and have been members of Sovereign Grace Church for over 20 years serving in various capacities including: leading care-group, leading worship, leading the décor team, photography, computer graphics, and building project management.

All three of us attribute our love for the local church to God’s grace through the example of our parents who have given their lives away loving and serving Sovereign Grace Church for almost thirty years - to the glory of God.