Favor From the Lord

by Carolyn Mahaney

As a pastor’s wife you sacrifice your husband. You give him up for middle of the night hospital visits and counseling sessions that run into dinner. You do without his helping hand on a Sunday morning or his weekend work around the house.

You also sacrifice for your husband. You put in extra hours with the kids, manage the cooking the cleaning the shopping and the carpool, and offer hospitality to boot. You bring an encouraging word after a discouraging sermon and, when necessary, the faithful wounds of a friend. And you labor beside your husband in the church—setting an example, and leading meetings for women. You offer counsel, care, encouragement, prayer, and meals.

I’m sure you don’t think of your life in terms of sacrifice. “I am an unworthy servant” you would say, “and have only done what was my duty” (Luke 17:10).

But your “ordinary” sacrifice for your husband is extraordinary. Fellow pastor’s wife Jani Ortland’s explains:

“You are one of the main vehicles God uses to show your husband his favor. Proverbs 18:22 says, ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.’ It’s as if God was thinking, ‘How can I help this man as I call him to serve Me? I know. I’ll make ____________, introduce them, and ignite their hearts to yearn to be one. Then I’ll use her as my main channel to show him my favor.”

You are a primary means, a direct channel, of God’s favor to your husband. Your sacrifice on his behalf is more than just “what you do.” It is God-ordained, Christ-empowered, Holy Spirit inspired means of favor on your husband. The Triune God gave your husband as a gift to the church. And He gave you as a gift to your husband.

So thank you ladies, for your sacrifice of and for your husbands. Thank you for being a means of grace to them, and by extension to the church of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” I’m sure your husband would agree.

"Introducing..." Jenny Greasley, Caerphilly, Wales

by Kimm Harvey

One of the things we so enjoy around here is introducing our friends to one another. Wouldn't you agree that we have benefited from the affection, encouragement, example and exhortation of true friends? Through this "Introducing..." series we will periodically give you the opportunity to meet some amazing pastor's wives in Sovereign Grace. Since we can’t all sit at the kitchen table together, this blog will have to do! Grab a cup of coffee (or tea) and come meet Jen!

Jen, as her friends call her, lives in Caerphilly, South Wales. She’s been married to Pete for 26 years and, together, they have raised three wonderful children (Ben, 23; Kate, 22; and Anna, 20). While he serves Sovereign Grace Ministries in our mission to train leaders, plant churches and preach the gospel in Asia, Europe and Africa, Jen serves the women of ChristChurch. And, did I mention, she has a perfect accent!!!

Born in Nottingham, England (yep! Robinhood’s hometown), Jen moved to South Wales with her family when she was young, which proved to be God’s providence as her neighbor began taking her and her brother, Steve, to a local church. At the age of 18, Jen first heard the gospel at a youth meeting and put her trust in the Lord through saving faith. Not two years later her future husband, the man who would steal her heart and take her breath away, walked into the same church and was saved that very week.

It wasn’t long after that they were married and together joined one of the fastest growing churches in the UK led by a well-known international leader. Pete was increasingly given more responsibilities in their new church. Soon, however, things changed in the church and the Greasley’s felt God had something different for them. A friend had given them a tape of a message spoken by CJ that resonated within their hearts. It was shortly after that they sensed God calling them to start a new church. That was years ago and today ChristChurch is a thriving local church with an amazing heart for the gospel to be brought to their community.

Jen loves being a pastor’s wife. In one of our conversations recently she shared this with me: “One of the things that I get to experience as a pastor’s wife is hearing the stories of so many different people in the church from so many different backgrounds. I get to see the grace of God draw people, change people, and keep them through the good times and the difficult times. God has given me a wonderful opportunity to learn more about Him and see His faithfulness through those who mean so much to me, my church family.”

“Overall I find very few things hard about being married to a pastor; the blessings far outweigh the difficulties. However, for many years answering the age old question, “What am I supposed to do?” perplexed me. For a long time I struggled with the misconception that the title "Pastor’s Wife" referred to my role, rather than my relationship as the wife of a pastor! My husband was a great means of grace to me as he reminded me that he is called to bear the overall pastoral responsibility for the ladies of Christchurch as well as the men. As his wife I have been called to help and support him as he does this. I now get to enjoy serving the ladies in our church in the context of helping him. Phew! I am so grateful for that clarification!”

While things continue to be busy at church, things on the home front have changed. These days’s Jen’s home is a little quieter—which she is still getting used to. But, when all the kids come around … it’s anything but quiet! Jen says, “My husband and children love to play music. I am the only non-musician in our family but we all love to sit around and carry on. Between Pete and the children, they sing, and play piano, guitar, bass, sax and flute. Most of the music I listen to in our home is ‘live.’”

In their spare time (what precious little they have), Pete and Jen pack up and head west to a wonderful “cottage” in West Wales they have lovingly restored. Some of her favorite times while there are sitting on the beach watching the sun go down with Pete or lingering over coffee in one of Wales’s many inviting garden shops. She also loves classic literature and a good cup of coffee, as she is one of those rare Brits that never gained any appreciation for the national beverage – tea.

One more thing I love about Jen that I want you all to know: because of Pete's ever growing responsibilities, she has been called upon to serve so much more than she ever dreamed – and in many ways she would not choose herself. She is a woman who has eagerly and intentionally applied the gospel to both her heart and the tasks that she has often felt were well beyond her gifting (and sometimes inclinations). She has done this with great faith and God has blessed her. Recently, Jen traveled with Pete to Germany and spent the entire trip sharing fellowship (through the help of a translator) with women who knew almost no English. Jen is quiet and unassuming (this is why we get along so well – I am NONE of those things – and she lets me do all the talking)– but because of her faith and willingness to step beyond herself she has had a HUGE impact on her family and the women around her. Spending time with Jen is to be inspired by her faith which embraces all that God has called her to. I thank God for this dear friend and the blessing her example has been to me and countless women.

Jen, on behalf of all of your new friends, it's nice to meet you!

Idelette: John Calvin's Wife

by Janis Shank

I love biographies! There is something powerful about reading the entirety of a person’s life journey that inspires faith toward God while I am still living mine. Most recently, I have been deeply affected by the life of John Calvin, who was born 500 years ago July 10. Many worldwide tributes devoted to his remembrance and the impact he made on church history are occurring this year. John Piper explains how we honor God through appreciating Calvin in particular:

"I am eager for people to know Calvin...because he took the Bible so seriously, and because what he saw on every page was the majesty of God and the glory of Christ. Calvin continues to inspire me because of his relentless focus on the greatness of God....

In the end, Calvin’s manifold ways of inspiring us have the effect they do century after century because he saw the gospel so clearly and made Christ so central....

If Jesus Christ, in all his majesty and excellence, is kept in clear view, the church will be kept from many errors. Therefore, Calvin continues to inspire and serve the church five hundred years after his birth.... " (taken from Desiring God blog)

We thought we would honor John Calvin indirectly by taking a peek at his dear wife, Idelette. She, like us, was married to a pastor, called to be a helper to a man devoted to the service of God and His people. What can we learn from this “older woman” of the faith?

Idelette lived from 1510 to 1549. We are introduced to her when she and her first husband converted to the Reformed faith from being Anabaptist, and along with their two children joined John Calvin’s church in Strasbourg, Germany. In the spring of 1540 Idelette’s husband died of the plague. Surprisingly, by August 6 of the same year, she married John Calvin, the pastor who conducted her husband’s funeral. Calvin’s ideal in a wife is revealed in his words to a friend: “But always keep in mind what I seek to find in her; for I am none of those insane lovers who embrace also the vices of those with whom they are in love, where they are smitten at first sight with a fine figure. This only is the beauty which allures me, if she is chaste, if not too fussy or fastidious, if economical, if patient, if there is hope that she will be interested about my health.” John found this ideal in Idelette as their brief and devoted union proved.

After six months of marriage, John and Idelette moved to Geneva, Switzerland where her husband assumed his new duties serving the Savior whom he so deeply loved. They kept a lively home, offering hospitality to many and it was said of Idelette, “Your hospitality in the name of Christ is not unknown to anybody in Europe.” She certainly assisted her husband’s ministry by keeping an open heart and an open home, often helping the poor and devoting herself to deeds of charity.

During the next few years Idelette had two miscarriages and gave birth to precious son, Jaques, who lived only two weeks. Deeply weakened and ill from his birth, she took comfort in God and in the words of her husband, “The Lord has certainly inflicted a severe and bitter wound in the death of our infant son. But He is Himself a father, and knows what is good for his children.”

Their marriage didn’t last long by today’s standards, and in 1549, after only nine years, Idelette finally succumbed to the illness that plagued her most of her life. John was at her bedside when she died and heard her triumphantly exclaim, "O glorious resurrection! O God of Abraham and of all our fathers, the believers of all the ages have trusted on Thee and none of them have hoped in vain. And now I fix my hope on Thee." She certainly was a true companion to her husband and shared his deep conviction in the sovereign love and grace of God. Her very last words proclaim God’s greatness and her trust in Him!

John Calvin’s grief was profound, and his words reveal the depth of his love for his wife, “I have been bereaved of the best companion of my life, who, if our lot had been harsher, would have been not only the willing sharer of exile and poverty, but even of death. While she lived she was the faithful helper of my ministry. From her I never experienced the slightest hindrance.”

What can we learn from Idelette’s brief journey while we are still living ours? Here are a few take-a-ways for our encouragement.

1. She loved the Savior and served Him by loving her husband, children and God’s people entrusted to their care, often through hospitality and deeds of love. She devoted herself to the advancement of the gospel in her lifetime. We have the same calling and privilege.

2. She endured loss and physical suffering by trusting in the sovereignty of God. Though we live in an age of modern medicine and many modern conveniences, we too suffer in various ways and can find our comfort in the same Sovereign Love.

3. She was a “faithful helper” of her husband’s ministry and “the best companion” of his life. There is something so inspiring about this simple yet profound commendation by her husband. By God’s grace, I can do this day by day; faithfully helping and seeking to be my husband’s best companion.

4. She maintained a robust hope in God, even at her death. By God’s grace, may we be ever growing stronger in this hope, now in life and all the way to our dying breath.

As you enter a new week, I pray you are inspired and encouraged by this ancient pastor’s wife to trust and serve our Savior. May God give us grace to live in such a gospel advancing way as to leave a legacy for those who will follow after us, just like our friend Idelette.

We Ask: Wise Words from a Seasoned Pastor's Wife

One of the defining passages from Scripture that shapes our ministry to women is Titus 2:3-5 where older women are instructed to teach (encourage) younger women. One of the ways we've chosen to do this is to ask some of our “seasoned” pastors’ wives (sounds nicer than “older”!) to respond to the following question and then post their responses on a periodic basis for our encouragement and training:

“As a pastor’s wife for ________ years, what is one piece of advice, or one bit of encouragement you would want to share with young pastors’ wives?”

Today we have the joy of hearing from Beth Mellinger. Enjoy and be refreshed through her wise words!

I am Beth Mellinger, the wife of Ken Mellinger, who has been a pastor at Living Hope Church, in Harrisburg, PA, for 18 years, and the senior pastor for the last 16 years. This coming August, we will gratefully celebrate 32 years of marriage, and I would marry Ken all over again in a heartbeat!

The Lord has blessed us with three sons, one daughter, two wonderful daughters-in-law, one great son-in-law, and seven beautiful grandchildren, with number eight due any day!

Our oldest son Ryan will be entering his second year of law school in the fall and has been married to Hollis for three years. They are members of Living Hope Church.

Our second oldest son Jared has been married to Meghan for seven years and he serves as the Sr. Pastor of Covenant Fellowship Church in Glen Mills, PA. They have three children with their fourth due any day - Ryle is 5, Ben is 3 and Lily is 21 months old.

Our one and only daughter Sarah has been married to Brian Herr for seven and a half years, and they are members of Grace Community Church in Souderton, PA. They have four children – Hailey is 6, Justin is 5, Sydney is 3 and Callie Beth is 8 months old.

And yes, this “Mimi” loves her grandchildren!! I say, “Just keep ‘em coming!”

Our youngest son, Matthew, is 17 and will be in 11th grade this fall as a home-schooled student with a cyber school. He enjoys volleyball, mowing yards and playing the guitar. And he has definitely grown in his enjoyment of being a tag-along with his Mother as she visits the grandchildren twice a month!

So what is one piece of advice or one bit of encouragement I would want to share with young pastors’ wives? Actually,several things came to mind to encourage you with, but the first thing that came to my mind when I pondered this question was to encourage them to “live for the audience of One.” Whether we like it or not, we are being watched and we have influence in the lives of those around us. However, it is more important to remember that we live for our Lord Jesus Christ, who is the founder and perfecter of our faith, who goes before us as an example of joyful obedience, and who gives us endurance and strength to not grow weary each and every day (Hebrews 12:1-2). The eyes of a holy, jealous God are upon us and we have the privilege to live our lives for Him, giving thanks to Him in all circumstances (Colossians 3:17). The joy of fearing God will release us to joyfully serve where God has us and to embrace the calling he has given us as we serve alongside our husbands with hearts full of faith and our eyes fixed on Christ.

In addition, for many young pastors’ wives, the calling God has given you is motherhood. Your domain is the home and you might feel disconnected from the ministry your husband is in. Your relationships might be somewhat designated and related to your husband’s calling. While your husband serves the church six days a week, you are home serving your family, often missing Sunday sermons, special meetings and times of fellowship in order to care for your little ones. Although some might think you know everything that is going on in the church, the reality of not knowing much more than who is pregnant and who is sick can be a bit humbling and disheartening!

This calls for great faith in the heart of a young pastor’s wife. Faith for investing in the lives of little ones day in and day out, faith to release your husband joyfully into the ministry God has for him, and faith to keep a fresh vision or picture of the way things should be in the days ahead, knowing full well they do not currently exist. Oh, to embrace the command to walk by faith and not by sight! (2 Corinthians 5:7)

God is the giver of faith and in order to embrace and enjoy the season we find ourselves in, we must cling to his promises and guard our own soul from discontentment. This is why a message that my son Jared gave recently touched my heart so deeply. He spoke on “Faith for the Next Generation” from Psalm 78:1-8, and encouraged us to think beyond our lifetime, to teach our children the Gospel with a view toward our great grandchildren! Yes, young moms, the teaching and training you are giving to your children now is not just for your lifetime; it is for the benefit of your great grandchildren and beyond! Listen to his message – it will encourage your soul!

Motherhood is a call to shape coming generations with the glorious Gospel of Christ and that is no small calling! One of the most important things a mother can model to her children is that she passionately loves their Daddy, and one of the best ways for a pastor’s wife to demonstrate that love is by joyfully releasing her husband to minister as God calls him, while she joyfully serves her family and home, assuring him that “all will be well on the home front.”

This last bit of advice is applicable to all wives, but it may be more challenging during the season of young motherhood, since much energy is spent on caring for children and running a busy household, and often the end of the day finds one tired and spent. I join the ranks of Carolyn Mahaney when she boldly answered a panel’s question, “What is one thing you have learned that encourages your husband the most?” With a smile and a very concise, yet confident answer, she replied “Make love to him!” Yes, let’s remember that we live for the audience of One, who has graciously given us all things to enjoy, and the joy of making love with our husbands is one of those gifts. He will thank you for remembering him!

I will close with a reminder that there are numerous sacrifices in the life of a young pastor’s wife, some of which include finances, time, and even ministry in the church, but there is much to gain if our eyes are on eternity – on that which will last forever. In 1 Timothy 6:6, we are reminded that “there is great gain in godliness with contentment.”

Jeremiah Burroughs wrote, “You shall have a reward to your soul for whatever good thing you are content to be without.”

Young pastor’s wife, whatever you find yourself “without” right now, know that God, in his kindness and love, will reward you as you fix your eyes on eternity, and live for His glory. May each of us be found faithful to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ - the One we cannot live without and the One who enables us to be content without.