Kristin is wife to Brian Chesemore, Married Life pastor at Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, Maryland.
As pastors’ wives we are often called upon to lead ladies meetings. Some of you enjoy and eagerly anticipate the opportunity. Others (like me) can be very aware of our limited gifting and tempted with anxious thoughts. I often have to remind myself why I am doing it and Who I am doing it for.
If I feel out of my depth, then imagine how the average care group leader's wife or assistant might feel? As a pastor's wife I can draw upon my husband's knowledge and skill to prepare for a meeting. I also have many more opportunities to learn from other pastors and pastors' wives. But a care group leader's wife may be called upon to lead a ladies meeting without the benefit of training or example. And if she is unclear about her purpose or goals for the meeting, she can get easily sidetracked and wind up feeling discouraged and condemned.
A while ago, I got away with a few pastors' wives to discuss how we could the serve women in our church who lead ladies meetings. We considered questions such as: What is the purpose of small group ladies meetings? What would a successful ladies meeting look like? What tools could we provide to make it easier for these busy women to lead a ladies meeting? How can our ladies meetings more effectively pass on the values of biblical womanhood? There is something about brainstorming with friends that makes this task easier--and more fun! My husband, Brian, and the Married Life pastors of our church, took our ideas and developed a strategy for the care groups in our church.
First, he got all the care group leaders' wives and assistants together to thank and encourage them for how they serve the church. We provided a special breakfast, some fun gifts, encouragement from the pastors, and a testimony from a young woman whose life and marriage was changed by the grace of God she received through her care group.
Then Brian gave a short teaching to help clarify the "Care Group Leader's Assistant Job Description" and give them a vision for their role:
Our mission statement: “Gospel-centered ladies meetings aren’t led by perfect women, but women who are living for Christ (2 Cor. 5:15), pursing humility, and wanting to see God’s grace on display in the lives of others. Through your example and care, God intends to transform lives and impart values of biblical womanhood. It’s not dependent on you, but God plans to use you!”
Your job, he said, is not--
1. to do what every other care group leaders' assistant does
2. to follow up with every woman on every issue in her life.
Rather, your goals are to--
1. Provide gospel centered care
2. Impart the values of biblical womanhood
3. Help one another grow in holiness
"Your prayer" Brian said, "is that God would help you pursue a gospel centered, biblically feminine life--not flawless, but humbly growing toward a maturity that compels other women to see God's glory in you."
With this attitude in mind, here are some thoughts to remember as you prepare for a ladies meeting:
Remember God’s Grace: He is at work in the ladies of your group. (Phil 2.12-13)
Get Comfortable with inadequacy! Acknowledge your dependence on the Holy Spirit. Ask God for direction and trust Him to provide.
Prepare to care for people and not simply to lead a meeting
Provide direction for the meeting, how you’ll spend your time together. This will help the ladies know what to expect, and also help you to better manage the timeline of the meeting.
Don’t try to solve everything in one meeting! If a lady is walking through a trial, seek to lead her to one bit of truth or one point of application.
Read everything that your group is asked to read. Gently redirect the off-topic or unhelpful tangents back to the conversation.
Remember to follow up on the specific point of application at your next meeting. This step will reinforce the goal of application.
After defining the broad vision, Brian gave the ladies more specific direction for the content of a ladies meeting. More on that next week…
