Hmmm, let's see. Just how will my son Stephen and I approach this summer? I'll do Tuesday afternoons at Sheila's pool and Thursday afternoons at Darlene's pool for sure. I'll be flexible with Wednesdays. Of course, Friday morning is at Jen's pool for the pastor's wives. Three possibly four days of pool hopping sounds good. Caregroup meetings, some hospitality at our house, and family fun nights with our married children will make a delightful summer. Can't forget my annual beach day with my daughters and I want to surprise Warren for an overnight too...I can hardly wait for the summer to begin! Have my summers always been like this? Well, yes and no. They've always been fun, but not necessarily filled with pool days. It all began 17 years ago on our church plant. When I asked Warren how I could serve him with the women, he wisely responded, "make memories." Boy, that was the best assignment ever! I'd love to do that!! Providentially right at that time, the Lord added to our leadership team a family with a pool. That summer we began what I called "Prayer and Pool." (not too creative, I know!) I met with the caregroup leaders at my house every Friday morning for prayer while the kids hung out downstairs. We ate lunch at my house and then headed over to Cris's house for pool time. We decided we liked being together so much, that when "prayer and pool" ended, I kept up a monthly morning prayer meeting. Over time, our "prayer and pool" got bigger and bigger as the Lord added more and more caregroup leaders. And, as the Lord would have it , eventually the caregroup leaders wanted to have their own prayer and pools! They so enjoyed our fellowship that they wanted to experience that with their own caregroups. Thus, the evolution of prayer and pool!Through the years the Lord has added many large hearted people to our church that love to open up their pools in the summer. Typically, each pool day consists of 2-3 caregroups combined depending on the number of children. Another way the ladies get together is by age of children. For instance, my daughter Julie hosts a pool morning at her friend's house for moms with small children. Of course, as a Memom, I've crashed that pool from time to time to see my 2 granddaughters! We currently have 7 pool days going on this summer. One of the perks of being a pastor's wife is that I can pool hop all summer long! I go to my "usual" pools based on my son's preference, but every now and then I venture out to another pool to catch up with the ladies there. God is at work in so many lives and the fellowship is so sweet that I don't want to miss it! I'm especially excited about our Pastor's Wives pool day on Friday mornings. Since the majority of the children on our team are under the age of 7, afternoon naps are essential. Therefore we will gather at Jen Lockhart's pool at 10:00, bring our lunches, and leave around 1:00 or 2:00. Our summer assignment is to bring to our monthly Panera Bread breakfast meeting evidences of grace we see in 2 children (there are 15 children among us...not counting my 4 older children...so we figured we needed to limit it to 2). No doubt, the memories made around Jen's pool will only deepen our friendships and make our children glad that their daddy is called to be a pastor--what fun! Life is just one big "get to" for these kids! There you have it! Summer fun at the Sovereign Grace Church of Cherry Hill. If you ever come for a visit, don't forget your suit! I'll just check my calendar and find out just where the pool day is happening and we'll just mosey on over. Be ready to laugh and cry and share your heart....that's what pool day is all about!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Leading Ladies Meetings, Pt. 2
by Kristin Chesemore
“Gospel-centered ladies meetings aren’t led by perfect women, but women who are living for Christ (2 Cor. 5:15), pursing humility, and wanting to see God’s grace on display in the lives of others. Through your example and care, God intends to transform lives and impart values of biblical womanhood. It’s not dependent on you, but God plans to use you.”
After laying out a vision for ladies meetings, my husband Brian got real practical. He provided the women a template—a sample ladies meeting that wasn’t a rigid structure, but a helpful guide. Some elements to include are:
So a sample approach might look something like this:
For the “Biblical Womanhood” portion of the meeting, Brian and the other Married Life Pastors provide a curriculum for next six months worth of ladies’ meetings. This is not meant to restrict the discussion—but it reflects the heart and burden of the pastors for the women of the church and provides direction for the women who are leading. This curriculum helps ensures that the values of biblical womanhood are being passed on—not to mention relieving the women of the need to develop specific content.
You can view curriculum content and sample questions at the Married Life website. And you can also download a bookmark we created for the care group leaders’ assistants (front and back).
Every six months or so the Married Life pastors gather all the assistants together, take time to honor and thank them, to provide biblical encouragement for their task and introduce the curriculum for the next six months. What a wonderful opportunity to encourage these precious women!
Whether you are leading ladies meetings or helping women who do, I hope these simple posts encourage and equip you to serve them more effectively.
After laying out a vision for ladies meetings, my husband Brian got real practical. He provided the women a template—a sample ladies meeting that wasn’t a rigid structure, but a helpful guide. Some elements to include are:
*Biblical fellowship and care
*Prayer for one another
*Training in biblical womanhood
*Cultivating fun and friendship
So a sample approach might look something like this:
*Prayer (15 min): Ask for the ladies’ prayer requests and pray for each other (as a group, or as pairs).
*Communion with God (15 min.): have ladies share about their recent pursuit of God in his word and prayer, 1-2 minutes per person. Remind them that because of the gospel, we are not condemned if we do not meet with God, nor do we earn God’s favor if we do. It is our need and privilege to meet with God on a daily basis.
*Biblical Care (45 min): This is time to apply the gospel for those who have a current trial or area of temptation. If no immediate needs surface, rotate care of one or two women per meeting. For example: How is your soul – encouraged or burdened? Is there any way we can practically serve you? Last time you shared (fill in the blank) – how have you sought to grow in that area? Incorporate times of encouragement every few meeting: “I’ve seen you grow in ….Thanks for your example in……” You are reminding them of God’s powerful activity in their lives.
*Biblical Womanhood (30-45 min): Discuss assigned questions from reading. Follow-up on application points from the last meeting.
*Cultivating Fun and Friendship (remaining time): Women don’t have much of a problem in this area. Let the talking begin! Or, try a creative idea.
For the “Biblical Womanhood” portion of the meeting, Brian and the other Married Life Pastors provide a curriculum for next six months worth of ladies’ meetings. This is not meant to restrict the discussion—but it reflects the heart and burden of the pastors for the women of the church and provides direction for the women who are leading. This curriculum helps ensures that the values of biblical womanhood are being passed on—not to mention relieving the women of the need to develop specific content.
You can view curriculum content and sample questions at the Married Life website. And you can also download a bookmark we created for the care group leaders’ assistants (front and back).
Every six months or so the Married Life pastors gather all the assistants together, take time to honor and thank them, to provide biblical encouragement for their task and introduce the curriculum for the next six months. What a wonderful opportunity to encourage these precious women!
Whether you are leading ladies meetings or helping women who do, I hope these simple posts encourage and equip you to serve them more effectively.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Leading Ladies Meetings
by Kristin Chesemore
As pastors’ wives we are often called upon to lead ladies meetings. Some of you enjoy and eagerly anticipate the opportunity. Others (like me) can be very aware of our limited gifting and tempted with anxious thoughts. I often have to remind myself why I am doing it and Who I am doing it for.
If I feel out of my depth, then imagine how the average care group leader's wife or assistant might feel? As a pastor's wife I can draw upon my husband's knowledge and skill to prepare for a meeting. I also have many more opportunities to learn from other pastors and pastors' wives. But a care group leader's wife may be called upon to lead a ladies meeting without the benefit of training or example. And if she is unclear about her purpose or goals for the meeting, she can get easily sidetracked and wind up feeling discouraged and condemned.
A while ago, I got away with a few pastors' wives to discuss how we could the serve women in our church who lead ladies meetings. We considered questions such as: What is the purpose of small group ladies meetings? What would a successful ladies meeting look like? What tools could we provide to make it easier for these busy women to lead a ladies meeting? How can our ladies meetings more effectively pass on the values of biblical womanhood? There is something about brainstorming with friends that makes this task easier--and more fun! My husband, Brian, and the Married Life pastors of our church, took our ideas and developed a strategy for the care groups in our church.
First, he got all the care group leaders' wives and assistants together to thank and encourage them for how they serve the church. We provided a special breakfast, some fun gifts, encouragement from the pastors, and a testimony from a young woman whose life and marriage was changed by the grace of God she received through her care group.
Then Brian gave a short teaching to help clarify the "Care Group Leader's Assistant Job Description" and give them a vision for their role:
Our mission statement: “Gospel-centered ladies meetings aren’t led by perfect women, but women who are living for Christ (2 Cor. 5:15), pursing humility, and wanting to see God’s grace on display in the lives of others. Through your example and care, God intends to transform lives and impart values of biblical womanhood. It’s not dependent on you, but God plans to use you!”
Your job, he said, is not--
1. to do what every other care group leaders' assistant does
2. to follow up with every woman on every issue in her life.
Rather, your goals are to--
1. Provide gospel centered care
2. Impart the values of biblical womanhood
3. Help one another grow in holiness
"Your prayer" Brian said, "is that God would help you pursue a gospel centered, biblically feminine life--not flawless, but humbly growing toward a maturity that compels other women to see God's glory in you."
With this attitude in mind, here are some thoughts to remember as you prepare for a ladies meeting:
After defining the broad vision, Brian gave the ladies more specific direction for the content of a ladies meeting. More on that next week…
Kristin is wife to Brian Chesemore, Married Life pastor at Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, Maryland.
As pastors’ wives we are often called upon to lead ladies meetings. Some of you enjoy and eagerly anticipate the opportunity. Others (like me) can be very aware of our limited gifting and tempted with anxious thoughts. I often have to remind myself why I am doing it and Who I am doing it for.
If I feel out of my depth, then imagine how the average care group leader's wife or assistant might feel? As a pastor's wife I can draw upon my husband's knowledge and skill to prepare for a meeting. I also have many more opportunities to learn from other pastors and pastors' wives. But a care group leader's wife may be called upon to lead a ladies meeting without the benefit of training or example. And if she is unclear about her purpose or goals for the meeting, she can get easily sidetracked and wind up feeling discouraged and condemned.
A while ago, I got away with a few pastors' wives to discuss how we could the serve women in our church who lead ladies meetings. We considered questions such as: What is the purpose of small group ladies meetings? What would a successful ladies meeting look like? What tools could we provide to make it easier for these busy women to lead a ladies meeting? How can our ladies meetings more effectively pass on the values of biblical womanhood? There is something about brainstorming with friends that makes this task easier--and more fun! My husband, Brian, and the Married Life pastors of our church, took our ideas and developed a strategy for the care groups in our church.
First, he got all the care group leaders' wives and assistants together to thank and encourage them for how they serve the church. We provided a special breakfast, some fun gifts, encouragement from the pastors, and a testimony from a young woman whose life and marriage was changed by the grace of God she received through her care group.
Then Brian gave a short teaching to help clarify the "Care Group Leader's Assistant Job Description" and give them a vision for their role:
Our mission statement: “Gospel-centered ladies meetings aren’t led by perfect women, but women who are living for Christ (2 Cor. 5:15), pursing humility, and wanting to see God’s grace on display in the lives of others. Through your example and care, God intends to transform lives and impart values of biblical womanhood. It’s not dependent on you, but God plans to use you!”
Your job, he said, is not--
1. to do what every other care group leaders' assistant does
2. to follow up with every woman on every issue in her life.
Rather, your goals are to--
1. Provide gospel centered care
2. Impart the values of biblical womanhood
3. Help one another grow in holiness
"Your prayer" Brian said, "is that God would help you pursue a gospel centered, biblically feminine life--not flawless, but humbly growing toward a maturity that compels other women to see God's glory in you."
With this attitude in mind, here are some thoughts to remember as you prepare for a ladies meeting:
Remember God’s Grace: He is at work in the ladies of your group. (Phil 2.12-13)
Get Comfortable with inadequacy! Acknowledge your dependence on the Holy Spirit. Ask God for direction and trust Him to provide.
Prepare to care for people and not simply to lead a meeting
Provide direction for the meeting, how you’ll spend your time together. This will help the ladies know what to expect, and also help you to better manage the timeline of the meeting.
Don’t try to solve everything in one meeting! If a lady is walking through a trial, seek to lead her to one bit of truth or one point of application.
Read everything that your group is asked to read. Gently redirect the off-topic or unhelpful tangents back to the conversation.
Remember to follow up on the specific point of application at your next meeting. This step will reinforce the goal of application.
After defining the broad vision, Brian gave the ladies more specific direction for the content of a ladies meeting. More on that next week…
Monday, May 10, 2010
Happy Mother's Day, Part 2
Last week we had the privilege of sharing one pastor's wife's story of how her mother, also a pastor's wife, impacted her life for the gospel. Today we want to continue this theme of older pastor's wives encouraging the younger women in their lives.
Older women, we want you to feel the powerful effect you are having on younger pastors wives who are embracing on the adventure of raising their families in a home where Dad is a pastor. We are so grateful for your examples! Many of us younger moms would be lost without the guidance we’ve received from you; whether its how to love our husbands, or teach our children, or warmly host a meeting. Where would we be without you! To illustrate this, we asked three pastors’ wives at Covenant Fellowship Church (Philadelphia) this question:
What is one thing you have learned about raising your family in ministry from pastors’ wives who have gone before you? Older moms, let this encourage you. Your quick conversations with younger women, your encouragement, and your faithful service are making a difference! Keep up the good work! Younger moms, we hope you can glean from the experiences related here. And if you have more questions, tap an older pastors’ wife on the shoulder and ask her! Here’s Meghan Mellinger to introduce the group and start things off: MeghanCombined, Wendy Stigora, Ashley Shorey and I have 11 kids, all 7 years old and younger. Wendy is the heavy hitter in terms of experience: Her husband has been in ministry for about ten years. Ashley and I don’t even have that many years combined. But we can all say that we have been able to glean valuable lessons on raising a young family in ministry from the older women who have gone before us. We are indebted to their wise counsel and encouragement that has helped us serve our families and our church so much more effectively!
When we first arrived at Covenant Fellowship and Jared started working as an intern, our boys were three and one-and-a-half, and our baby girl arrived soon after that. I was adjusting to life at a new church, to mothering three children, and especially to navigating a Sunday morning on my own without any help from my husband. I can recall very specifically hitting a season where it seemed like every Sunday my kids were running around the church completely out of control! Thankfully I was (and still am!) surrounded by other pastors’ wives who have been at this much longer than I have and so I was able to get help and get it fast! I posed a simple question to my friend Trish: “What do you do when your kids are running amok at church and your husband is unavailable?” Now what she shared may seem simple and even obvious, but I’m not kidding when I say that it changed my life (or at least my Sundays!)She encouraged me to take advantage of the car ride to church and have a little “pep-talk” with my kids, reminding them about what obeying Mommy at church looks like, what happens when they disobey, and how obeying Mommy honors God and serves the church. I need to make sure I’m not overwhelming them with a long list of “do’s and don’ts” for church, but instead give each one an area to work on that morning. For the first time I was approaching Sunday mornings proactively, rather than simply reacting to the behavior of my children. And you know what? It actually bore fruit over time. My Sundays don’t go perfectly, but they usually look a lot better than they did in those early days, and that serves not only me, but my husband and the church as well! AshleyIf there’s one thing I’ve learned as I’ve watched some of the women who have gone before me on this (sometimes crazy!) road of ministry with young children, it’s the vital role of faith towards God for his call on our family. When I’m around these women or bring my own “plight of the day” to them for counsel, I’m definitely helped by their input and ideas of ways to train my children to participate in the work of the Gospel. But in between the lines of their practical answers to my questions I hear faith. I am reminded that the only real way that I can train my children to eventually value kingdom work is by having faith towards God in my own heart.I am just ending a season of busyness sprinkled with a week or two of travel on my husband’s part. Recently, there was a moment of complete meltdown with all three children (4, 3, and 1) crying and clinging to Daddy as he attempted to head out the door for work. In all honesty, I was tired and there was something inside of me that wanted to cling to my husband’s leg as well! In that moment my battle wasn’t for the words to say to lead my children through their release of Daddy. It was for faith towards God in my own heart—faith that would give me the ability to be genuine and contagious in my joy and hope in God’s grace for us as a family! By faith I can trust God’s promises, gain an eternal perspective, and rejoice in the privilege we have as a family to participate in the work of God’s kingdom. Faith towards God lifts my eyes off the sacrifices and brings my heart to worship the One who is so very worthy, so that I can both train my children in practical ways and call them to lift their eyes as well. WendyLooking back on the last ten years in ministry, I am so thankful for the early years and the examples I had to watch in the other wives of Covenant Fellowship who were raising their families in the midst of fulltime ministry. We have had great examples in the families around us of not “weeping over our lamb,” as Charles Spurgeon called it, as we sacrifice our time with Daddy so that he can serve God’s people. But that can be hard for a young child to really understand. When I asked one of my sons, “What does your Daddy do for a job?” He answered, “Play guitar all day.” Now, leading worship on Sundays is one of Joseph’s primary responsibilities, but he has also pastored college students and married couples for many years as well. I realized that the kids really had little idea what “pastoring” meant. So I asked a dear friend, Amy, “How do you help your kids understand what their Daddy does so that they can release him to serve more joyfully?” Her answer was simple, “Let them see it for themselves.”For years I had watched Amy taking her little kids to Youth Camp each summer when her husband was Camp Commander. At the time I thought she was either crazy or a superwoman (now with years of friendship between us I have found she is a little of both with a lot of godliness mixed in.) So I began looking for opportunities to let them see what daddy does. If he was preaching at a meeting on campus, we’d go early, interact with some of the students, enjoy worship and head out before the preaching began (and they became a distraction). If Joseph was asked to lead worship at Youth Camp, we could release Daddy while we stayed home in our comfy house OR we could join him in a rustic cabin, blow naps and bedtime, and let them see what Daddy really does.Taking advantage of these opportunities doesn’t always come easy. There were plenty of times when things did not go well and I wondered why I was even trying. But over time, we have seen God’s faithfulness at work and the kids starting to get it. Even small opportunities help children understand and have faith for the calling upon their daddy and us as a family.
Older women, we want you to feel the powerful effect you are having on younger pastors wives who are embracing on the adventure of raising their families in a home where Dad is a pastor. We are so grateful for your examples! Many of us younger moms would be lost without the guidance we’ve received from you; whether its how to love our husbands, or teach our children, or warmly host a meeting. Where would we be without you! To illustrate this, we asked three pastors’ wives at Covenant Fellowship Church (Philadelphia) this question:
What is one thing you have learned about raising your family in ministry from pastors’ wives who have gone before you? Older moms, let this encourage you. Your quick conversations with younger women, your encouragement, and your faithful service are making a difference! Keep up the good work! Younger moms, we hope you can glean from the experiences related here. And if you have more questions, tap an older pastors’ wife on the shoulder and ask her! Here’s Meghan Mellinger to introduce the group and start things off: MeghanCombined, Wendy Stigora, Ashley Shorey and I have 11 kids, all 7 years old and younger. Wendy is the heavy hitter in terms of experience: Her husband has been in ministry for about ten years. Ashley and I don’t even have that many years combined. But we can all say that we have been able to glean valuable lessons on raising a young family in ministry from the older women who have gone before us. We are indebted to their wise counsel and encouragement that has helped us serve our families and our church so much more effectively!
When we first arrived at Covenant Fellowship and Jared started working as an intern, our boys were three and one-and-a-half, and our baby girl arrived soon after that. I was adjusting to life at a new church, to mothering three children, and especially to navigating a Sunday morning on my own without any help from my husband. I can recall very specifically hitting a season where it seemed like every Sunday my kids were running around the church completely out of control! Thankfully I was (and still am!) surrounded by other pastors’ wives who have been at this much longer than I have and so I was able to get help and get it fast! I posed a simple question to my friend Trish: “What do you do when your kids are running amok at church and your husband is unavailable?” Now what she shared may seem simple and even obvious, but I’m not kidding when I say that it changed my life (or at least my Sundays!)She encouraged me to take advantage of the car ride to church and have a little “pep-talk” with my kids, reminding them about what obeying Mommy at church looks like, what happens when they disobey, and how obeying Mommy honors God and serves the church. I need to make sure I’m not overwhelming them with a long list of “do’s and don’ts” for church, but instead give each one an area to work on that morning. For the first time I was approaching Sunday mornings proactively, rather than simply reacting to the behavior of my children. And you know what? It actually bore fruit over time. My Sundays don’t go perfectly, but they usually look a lot better than they did in those early days, and that serves not only me, but my husband and the church as well! AshleyIf there’s one thing I’ve learned as I’ve watched some of the women who have gone before me on this (sometimes crazy!) road of ministry with young children, it’s the vital role of faith towards God for his call on our family. When I’m around these women or bring my own “plight of the day” to them for counsel, I’m definitely helped by their input and ideas of ways to train my children to participate in the work of the Gospel. But in between the lines of their practical answers to my questions I hear faith. I am reminded that the only real way that I can train my children to eventually value kingdom work is by having faith towards God in my own heart.I am just ending a season of busyness sprinkled with a week or two of travel on my husband’s part. Recently, there was a moment of complete meltdown with all three children (4, 3, and 1) crying and clinging to Daddy as he attempted to head out the door for work. In all honesty, I was tired and there was something inside of me that wanted to cling to my husband’s leg as well! In that moment my battle wasn’t for the words to say to lead my children through their release of Daddy. It was for faith towards God in my own heart—faith that would give me the ability to be genuine and contagious in my joy and hope in God’s grace for us as a family! By faith I can trust God’s promises, gain an eternal perspective, and rejoice in the privilege we have as a family to participate in the work of God’s kingdom. Faith towards God lifts my eyes off the sacrifices and brings my heart to worship the One who is so very worthy, so that I can both train my children in practical ways and call them to lift their eyes as well. WendyLooking back on the last ten years in ministry, I am so thankful for the early years and the examples I had to watch in the other wives of Covenant Fellowship who were raising their families in the midst of fulltime ministry. We have had great examples in the families around us of not “weeping over our lamb,” as Charles Spurgeon called it, as we sacrifice our time with Daddy so that he can serve God’s people. But that can be hard for a young child to really understand. When I asked one of my sons, “What does your Daddy do for a job?” He answered, “Play guitar all day.” Now, leading worship on Sundays is one of Joseph’s primary responsibilities, but he has also pastored college students and married couples for many years as well. I realized that the kids really had little idea what “pastoring” meant. So I asked a dear friend, Amy, “How do you help your kids understand what their Daddy does so that they can release him to serve more joyfully?” Her answer was simple, “Let them see it for themselves.”For years I had watched Amy taking her little kids to Youth Camp each summer when her husband was Camp Commander. At the time I thought she was either crazy or a superwoman (now with years of friendship between us I have found she is a little of both with a lot of godliness mixed in.) So I began looking for opportunities to let them see what daddy does. If he was preaching at a meeting on campus, we’d go early, interact with some of the students, enjoy worship and head out before the preaching began (and they became a distraction). If Joseph was asked to lead worship at Youth Camp, we could release Daddy while we stayed home in our comfy house OR we could join him in a rustic cabin, blow naps and bedtime, and let them see what Daddy really does.Taking advantage of these opportunities doesn’t always come easy. There were plenty of times when things did not go well and I wondered why I was even trying. But over time, we have seen God’s faithfulness at work and the kids starting to get it. Even small opportunities help children understand and have faith for the calling upon their daddy and us as a family.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Happy Mother's Day!
As Mother's Day approaches this coming weekend, we wanted to be the first to join in honoring you for the ways you care sacrificially for your children and grandchildren (of all ages) and daily sow gospel truth into the next generation. We pray you have fresh eyes to see where God is at work for His purposes through the "gospel labor" that takes place in your home each day!
Here is a beautiful testimony from one pastor's wife, Lory Payne (wife of Jon Payne, Gilbert, AZ), whose mother, Lory Ramos (wife of Ricky Ramos in Jaurez, Mexico) is also a pastor's wife, of the inspiring gospel transfer and the power of a mother's example to bear fruit in the next generation.
Here is a beautiful testimony from one pastor's wife, Lory Payne (wife of Jon Payne, Gilbert, AZ), whose mother, Lory Ramos (wife of Ricky Ramos in Jaurez, Mexico) is also a pastor's wife, of the inspiring gospel transfer and the power of a mother's example to bear fruit in the next generation.
I can remember countless nights of sitting on the counter, my legs swinging, talking to my mom about every topic: cooking, fashion, theology, cleaning, friends, romance, devotions--everything! Little did I know that I was being shaped and trained in ways for which I would be forever grateful. My mom is an inspiring example to me in so many ways, and I’m thrilled to be able to honor her publicly.
My mom has been a pastor’s wife for most of my life now. My dad is one of the pastors of the Sovereign Grace Church in Juárez, Mexico. Growing up, in the back of my mind, I wanted to be a pastor’s wife. It seemed like a wonderful thing and a great privilege. I realize now that that perspective was a gift from a mom who never complained and made a practice of communicating gratefulness and faith. In God’s kindness, I am now a pastor’s wife myself. I am so grateful and feel the unique challenge and gift that it is to serve a man called to full-time ministry. I realize more now all that my mom has not only passed on to me, but modeled for me even when I didn’t realize it. There are a great many things that I admire about her, but there are a few things that stand out to me as I think of her role as a pastor’s wife.
1) My mom is a woman of unceasing prayer. As a proud little girl, I didn’t understand this dependence on God, but now, I am provoked by her relentless drawing near to God with needs, petitions, and exuberant thankfulness. I still remember my mom praying earnestly in her room, her face moist with tears. She involves God in every area of her life. There is nothing outside of God’s control and His care for her. She persistently lifts up others to the throne of grace, her husband, her children, people in the church, even strangers she has just met!
2) My mom is a woman of faith. If you talk to her, she communicates a very real, honest person that is committed to fixing her eyes on all that God is doing with a hope of eternity in view. She is a woman who “puts her hope” in God and does “not fear anything that is frightening.” (1 Pet. 3:5-6) This is particularly poignant now as her church is in a very dangerous city filled with moral chaos and increasing violence. Fear is a very tangible reality for her. And yet I see her looking to God and trusting Him completely with her life, her family’s life and those in the church that she loves. God is greater and bigger to her, and she finds refuge in His character and His promises.
3) My mom is a woman of mercy and compassion. She is like our Savior in her heart and care for others--she sees anyone in need and longs to care for them. She is generous--with her prayers, her affection, her resources, her life. Her home is one of inviting others in to serve them. I have vivid memories of random people (even complete strangers!) in random places pouring out their hearts to my mom. I believe it is because they sensed her love and compassion for them. She took the time to show Christ to someone in need.
4) My mom is a Proverbs 31 woman---she is a hard worker. I have not met anyone who personifies these verses for me more than my mom. I can think of an example from her for each one! She has always risen early to serve her family; in whatever needs to be done, whatever would serve, she rolls up her sleeves and sets herself to the task wholeheartedly, excellently and cheerfully. (we still tease her to sit down and let us serve for a change!)
These are character qualities that have made her an excellent pastor’s wife. My dad has received “good and not harm” from her. I pray that the Lord would make me as much of a blessing to my husband and to my church as she is to hers. Like her, I want to be a woman that prays fervently for God’s people, crying out to our gracious Father--rather than complain or give into self-pity or self-sufficiency. Reminding myself that He is the one that provides all that we need and all that others need. Like her, I long to be a woman who is in “perfect peace” and whose “mind is stayed on” God (Isa. 26:3), trusting Him--rather than a tossed about soul that fears the future and is led by fickle emotions. Like her, I desire to be merciful and gracious toward others--rather than impatient or self-righteous, or too concerned with myself. Like her, I want to be a worker for God’s eyes, serving my family tirelessly that my husband might be released to serve and is at peace in his home. (I have so far to go to be like you, mom!) But, I am incredibly grateful to God for giving me a mother that I can watch and emulate and seek to learn from. What an invaluable fountain of wisdom and practical help she is to me!
Mom, thank you for being my best friend and for crafting countless kitchen conversations, teaching by example, and giving me, through your life, a living picture of a godly woman.
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